Linda Gray Sexton attempted suicide three times when she reached forty-five, the same age of her mother, poet Anne Sexton, when she killed herself
. In her new memoir Half in Love: Surviving the Legacy of Suicide, Linda talks candidly about her intense depression and how she managed to curb the cycle of suicide she seemed destined to inherit—and unlike her mother’s, hers is a story of triumph.
What is the nicest thing anybody has ever said to you? My previously lonely husband once said to me, “You think that I saved you, Linnie, but the truth is that you saved me.”
The most difficult age for you? When I turned forty-five, I tried to kill myself three times, even though I well understood the hurt I would cause my family. Somehow I could not face this parallel, my life to hers.
The best age for you? My fifties. I have come into my own and defeated my depression. I am writing again, conversing with other writers again. I have reclaimed my life.
The best advice your mother ever gave you? My mother gave me three pieces of great advice: “Live to the hilt,” she said. “And don’t let the bastards win.” But my favorite piece of advice is: “Be your own woman.”
Your biggest obstacle? I have overcome suicidal depression with the help of a great therapist; modern medicine and all it now has to offer psychiatric patients; and the love of my family. And then, despite the pain, I wrote about it on a personal level in a memoir that will be published for all to see.
Who is your favorite woman? My mother, even now and despite it all.
Your biggest epiphany? That life will be what it will be.
Your work? Someone commits suicide very seventeen minutes and worldwide a million people kill themselves every year. In addition to my mother’s suicide, there were two other suicides in the family. Half in Love is a personal and candid memoir that delves deeply into what I went through, as well as telling the story of how I triumphed over my family’s legacy of suicide. I hope it will help others who endure depression and thoughts of suicide, and their families, who are caught under the bell jar of their loved one’s illness and the aftermath of them taking their lives. You can learn more here: www.lindagraysexton.com
One misconception people have about you and your truth? That I am a confident, outgoing, extroverted person. In fact, I am shy, and introverted. I have a lot of trouble meeting new people.
Your favorite guilty pleasure? A big block of Parmesan, shaved thinly, with a glass of red wine at 5:00 every night.
Favorite song? “Imagine,” by John Lennon.
In your next life who do you want to come back as? A dog living at my house.
One wish for the world? That every person could come into their own and know fulfillment.
Your favorite word? Hope.
What is your best advice for any woman who is struggling to become who she was meant to be? Keep plugging away at it. Never give up. You can be anything you want to be, and this will be what you are meant to be.
Laughed and did a fist pump in the air with a resounding “Yes!” to the three pieces of advice your mother gave you. What an honest and hope-filled interview. Thank you!
If only more people understood that they are not alone in mental illnesses and that it is so highly treatable these days. You are an inspiration to all. Thank you for sharing so candidly. Keep on thriving and keep on writing!
I loved reading this interview with Linda Sexton. I think that it is powerful and inspiring when people come forth talking about their struggles with depression and suicide. As a counselor at a college, we are constantly looking at ways to reduce the stigma around help-seeking. First person accounts are the most powerful tool. Thank you Linda and Ilie!
Thank you very much for sharing your story. You show such strength and courage. Your story will help so many going through this see there is hope and also the families to understand. I do believe how mental illness is projected in society still creates such a stigma and it needs to be changed.
A family member of mine found out about 2 yrs ago she was bi-polar. would not seek any help because of fear of what people would think if they knew she was getting therapy and on medication for it. She was afraid of what others thought when they heard the word. She disappeared from everyone’s life for 3 yrs no contact with anyone, even her 2 sons. We did not know is she was still alive. A year ago she found me on facebook and messaged me. She had hit a low point and almost killed herself when she got the help she needed. Now she is trying to get back into her son’s life. It is hard for them to understand and been an emotional time for the entire family.
So many with this disease to whatever degree it might be are labeled, bullied, & isolated in society it that often reduces their chances of getting help and terrible results can occur. Telling your story that it can get better, treatment, support, and a willing to accept it and work through it for a better more fullfilled life is very important. My family member is very much still struggling, but I know she is fighting her way back to becoming her own woman, mother,wife and sister.Thank you Linda.. Thank you Ilie, bringing these amazing women and their stories to us.
How can I even begin to thank you all for such support, compassion and love? This has been an extraordinary series to be a part of, where each day I can open up the page and see another woman flourishing despite hardship or challenge, where another woman praises me for being willing to take the risk of being open. The more we let others see the deepest reaches inside of us, the more comforted and thus the stronger we are. We need to keep pumping our fists for each other! Go girls go!
I stand with many others applauding your openness, courage, and determination. Emerging to the other “side” and reclaiming your life is incredible. I loved many of your replies, particularly your favorite song (“Imagine”), favorite word (“Hope”), and coming back as a dog in your next life. Thank you.
You are brave and lovely! To write so openly about your struggle is remarkable. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Clearly you have much to give the world, and I’m wishing you all the best!
Wow. I got so much out of this interview. I love how your mother is still your favorite woman. I think this speaks volumes about your journey. Can’t wait to read the book.
I only recently read Linda’s earlier memoir, Searching for Mercy Street, and loved it. It was one of those books I hated to end because I was so taken. What a nice surprise to find this interview.